This post has been one that I have wanted to write for quite some time, and today I am finally sitting down to do so. We live in a very digital age. In some ways, this is a good thing I admit. In other ways I do question how much better it makes our quality of life overall.
A few weeks ago I was at the mall, and I was doing one of my favorite things other than shopping. I was people watching while I sat on the bench feeding my son. I couldn't help but to notice how many people walked by staring into the abyss of their smart phones. These people weren't just teenagers, but encompassed all age ranges, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds. I wondered how many were working. I do understand that there are certain professions that require more "connectivity" if that is even a word.
We went to the diner the other night for character night. This is always one of our family's favorite nights because kids also eat free. I looked around at all the families, and saw that many again were typing away on those phones.
The worse though was the other day in the school parking lot when I saw a parent steering her mini van with her knees while typing away on her phone. What was so important to put the safety of no only her children but of all the parents/children in the parking lot at risk?
I am writing because this is something that I have struggled with in the past. I didn't have a smart phone until 2012. I didn't really need one sooner because I have not been a working mom for quite some years. I do understand that being a mom is tough no matter working, staying at home, working from home, and as a side note I know we all need to support one another (future blog post). However, I chose to leave my career to be home with my children. This is a decision that has worked well for my family, and is not forever but as long as finances allow.
Moms today no matter working situations have to be multitaskers. There are so many things that require our attention. It is hard when our children are infants, but I find that mine still need a lot of attention regardless of age due to homework, sports/activities, etc and this is one of the things I love most. Being needed by my children, but I know the ultimate goal someday is for them to not need me as much. They are 8, 5, and 9 months though now so they really need me A LOT.
Anyway, when I got my smart phone I downloaded all of my favorite apps, including social media ones. I thought it would be neat to be able to use my time at drop off/pickup/etc keeping up with these things and being more social (insert laugh). I laugh because I wonder does social media make us more social? Instead of getting out and conversing with the other moms and dads, I spent every last minute possible reading Facebook statuses of my friends or entering a few contests via twitter. It seemed okay. Who was it hurting?
My son was born in May 2013. I wanted to keep up with the social media, especially with Twitter because it has been so helpful to our family to be able to "win" items that we needed. It was worth my time I thought. I continued to do this during naptimes/feedings/when the kids were in bed.
I felt stressed all the time/like I never had any downtime. I thought I was more "social" because I was commenting on my friend's Facebook status updates and I was tweeting with people.
When 2014 came around I started to question all the multitasking I was doing and how stressed I was feeling. I was trying to keep up with my contesting while being a mom of three, being involved in the school, keeping up with the house, volunteering at church, etc. I thought there was really no "me" time. I had been feeling for months that I needed to find that perfect balance in my life. I cannot imagine how hard this must be if you have a paid job on top of everything else.
I challenged myself to take a week away form social media. At first it was really hard, but after the next few days, it really wasn't anymore. I also found that by not multitasking all the time, I enjoyed each minute more. I enjoyed all the things that at times had felt like burdens everyday. My house has been cleaner. My kids are happier, and the reason is that I have been happier. I have gotten everything done each day, have planned more playdates, have read more books, and have completed tasks I didn't think I had time for in the past. A life of balance is something I think we all seek.
I value technology, but think it needs it's place. I was just talking with a friend the other day who was mentioning having a problem with her kids/hubby all being on their devices during dinner and that she has to turn off the wi-fi to call family meetings. I do not want to end up like this. I do not want to set this example to my children.
All of those looking for me on twitter, I am okay. Again, just trying to find that balance. How do you find balance in your life? Do you think technology has changed the way we parent our children today? Curious to hear thoughts, and again please keep in mind that everything above is my opinion and in no way a judgement of anyone else who does not make the same choices.
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