I am getting closer and closer to age 40 everyday, and yet I still struggle with the same problem I did when I was in elementary school. From a young age I have always wanted to make everyone happy. Every family needs a peacekeeper, and for ours..well it was me. My father and sister were a volatile combination...so I always felt like I had to put out fires. I always wanted everyone to like me, I always felt like I avoided conflict at all risks, and in turn I thought I was doing what I had to do...what was best for everyone.
I can be a people pleaser. I don't like this about myself, I admit. I always want to make everyone happy, but in doing so..well sometimes I don't know what makes me happy. I feel like I should have this all figured out by now. I am a work in progress. I am not ashamed to admit that I am perfectly imperfect.
I am my own worst enemy, my biggest critic, the expectations that I feel like the world has for me...well they are actually all workings of my won.
Wisdom is telling me that trying to make everyone else happy will never make me happy. I don't have to have to be selfless or selfish but can be true to myself, and love myself, and do what I think is right without having to look to others for affirmation. This is something that I want to pass on to my own girls, but it may be something that they too have to learn on their own.
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