Moving

I cannot believe that we are midway through February already. I still find myself writing 2014 instead of 2015. The past few months have been a whirlwind, and I feel like things are finally slowing down enough for me to catch my breath.

As many of you may already know, we recently moved. In September we decided to list our house, and see how things went. Our previous house was a tad over 1,000 square feet, so it was getting a bit small for a family of 5. I loved our old house, the neighbors, the community, but I did not love constantly tripping over one another, and the layout of the house which was not conducive for a family our size.

So we listed the house, and luckily had a ton of activity for the first month. The feedback was all the same...beautiful home but too small. Many of the people giving this feedback were couples without any children. I looked at them like what do you think we are dealing with? Finally the first week of November, a woman came through with a daughter about the age of my oldest. She was going through a divorce, and loved the house. The same day she found our house, the house down the street from us listed for significantly lower than us. It was very difficult because we had purchased our home during the real estate bubble, and were already selling for 60k less than we had purchased it for& hadn't accounted for all of the upgrades we had done. Anyway, luckily our buyer still preferred our home over the one down the street.

A few weeks later she had a home inspection. She had an inspector who was very detailed, and spent 4 hours going through everything. Just like with any house that is not new, he found some things that needed to be fixed. One of the areas, was the basement. We had put 10k into this when we purchased after finding out the previous owner had lied on the disclosure when they said they had never had water. So as I said, we put the money into fixing the issue and putting in a sump pump & french drains. In the past 6 1/2 years they we owned the property our area of NJ went through 2 hurricanes which unknowingly had caused two of the basement walls to begin shifting. Our buyer wanted over 10k in credits, which we ended up giving her because we realized that this was something that needed to be fixed whether we would sell or stay.

In the meantime we found another home that held great potential for our family. It had 2,500 square feet and a nice size yard. It was owned by the original owner who had, had the home built in 1967, and everything was pretty original to that time period. The owner was a 90 year old woman who did not have email, cell phone, and was very difficult for her realtor/lawyer to get in contact with. Needless to say, things did not move very quickly. We had our home inspection in early December, and our inspector of course had a long list of things that needed to be fixed. Of top concern, termite damage that needed to be remediated& ventilation system for the roof. The house had a lot of updating & fixing, but we kept coming back to it due to the size& potential and decided to buy the house.

So the holidays came& went, and we prepared for a January 15th closing on both properties. Then we found out that our seller had a minor stroke& couldn't be out on the 15th. Meanwhile, our buyer served us with "time is of the essence" papers, giving us 10 days to vacate our home before legal action. We were then supposed to close on January 20th. Had my mover lined up, and found out that the 20th could not happen due to the health of our seller. We were able to agree to a date of the 30th that worked for all parties. Had to find another mover as the original was booked that day.

Packing up was a little challenging with 3 kids, one of which was 20 months, but that really turned out to be the easiest part of the whole process. We moved our items out on the 29th, because our mover offered overnight storage which was convenient.
So the 30th came, and we were sitting in our lawyers office signing papers and found out that the seller had never gotten a Certificate of Occupancy (something that is ESSENTIAL for the sale of a home in NJ and probably in most states). We were told that we would not be able to move into the house until a CO was issued. There were are a family of 5 with no family around we can stay with and we were told we could not move in to the house we wanted to purchase. Luckily my lawyer found a way for us to be able to move our items into the house.

I have no idea how the seller's real estate agent dropped the ball on the Certificate of Occupancy. We worked with the seller in order to get the CO from the township. It proved to be more work than we had realized since the house had no smoke detectors, no carbon monoxide detectors, and didn't have a working stove top. Also had terminate damage, so we had to sign off on a certificate saying that we accept the house with the damage, and will no sue the township. A week later were were able to close on the house.

I know I am leaving out a ton of other stuff too, but at the moment I just cannot remember anything else. It was quite a process, but I am happy that we did this, and in time I know we will love this house and will have it to what we want it to be.
My girls finally have their own bedrooms, but of course at night they still want to sleep together.
This was a learning experience for sure, and the best advice I can give is make sure that you have a great realtor and lawyer. We went with friends, and as much as I love these people personally, professionally it was not a good fit.

Though the past few months were very stressful, I know in time this is the right house for us. All the best luck to my friends who are getting ready to look for homes in the spring!

Making everyone else happy doesn't always make you happy.

I am getting closer and closer to age 40 everyday, and yet I still struggle with the same problem I did when I was in elementary school. From a young age I have always wanted to make everyone happy. Every family needs a peacekeeper, and for ours..well it was me. My father and sister were a volatile combination...so I always felt like I had to put out fires. I always wanted everyone to like me, I always felt like I avoided conflict at all risks, and in turn I thought I was doing what I had to do...what was best for everyone.

I can be a people pleaser. I don't like this about myself, I admit. I always want to make everyone happy, but in doing so..well sometimes I don't know what makes me happy. I feel like I should have this all figured out by now. I am a work in progress. I am not ashamed to admit that I am perfectly imperfect.

I am my own worst enemy, my biggest critic, the expectations that I feel like the world has for me...well they are actually all workings of my won.

Wisdom is telling me that trying to make everyone else happy will never make me happy. I don't have to have to be selfless or selfish but can be true to myself, and love myself, and do what I think is right without having to look to others for affirmation. This is something that I want to pass on to my own girls, but it may be something that they too have to learn on their own.

Time Well Spent

When I say I am going to do something, I try my best to always follow through. This is something that my parents have ingrained into me from the beginning, and I am thankful for that. You see words without actions are meaningless, and it's impossible to be credible without backing up what we say. This is why it's been so hard for me to admit that I don't seem to be doing too well with keeping up with my blog.

A few months ago I was determined to use my free time to write, something I really enjoy doing. More than anything though it is a great outlet for me. These past months have not gone as planned, but then I realize life seldom does, and sometimes the best things are the ones that were not in our "original plan".

March was a difficult month, but one that brought about positive change. In a previous post I had mentioned about some things going on with my husband's job that were causing us to question some things. I am pleased to say that this is no longer the situation. My husband was able to return to a prior position with a much better work/life balance. The sacrifice of course is less pay. We trust that this was the right decision for our family, and my faith allows me to believe that God will always take care of us.

Also last month an opportunity presented itself  for me to return to my field on a part time basis. I have to be honest and say that this is something that I really struggled with because as much as I miss the professional world, the issue for me has always been the childcare situation. The cost of part time childcare in this area would pretty much wipe out my part time paycheck, and I am not sure that we would come out ahead in the end. I love being home with my son, and being able to take my girls too and from school, and be involved in their schools. I am so grateful for the time I have with my kids as I know it is limited. For the time being I have passed up this opportunity, and continued to evaluate my time.

I appreciate the people that have asked me why my social media presence has dwindled and if I am okay. I am pleased to say that I am more than okay. Something I have been struggling with lately is time. Life is so busy whether we are working parents, stay at home parents, work at home parents, or honestly just any parent.  I am an " all or nothing personality", so I admit it is hard for me to wear many hats and believe that I am doing a great job with all of them.

My birthday is rapidly approaching and although I like to believe that I will always be young at heart, I know that my days are numbered as they are for all of us. We make the assumption daily  that we will have always have "tomorrow" to do something, but in actuality we are never promised tomorrow and all we have for now is the present moment. Time is precious, especially the time we have with our children. It is our job to raise them to be the people we want to see more of in the world. It is our duty to society, God, and our family to lead and guide them.  It is not an easy task, and not for the faint of heart.

My kids were home last week from school, and what they wanted more than anything was my time. I am thankful they still feel this way because I have a strong feeling that they may not share the same sentiments during the tween/teen years. Some days I just want to freeze time.  Right now the best gift I can give my children is my presence and undivided attention. Undivided attention seems impossible in a day where we are always multitasking, but I have come to the realization that even though I am capable of doing many things at the same time, only a few of these will be done with the quality I desire.

That being said this is where I have been....spending more time living in the moment with as little distractions as I can. Time is a limited currency, and nothing is really free. I want to make sure that the things I am spending my time on count.

I hope that I will be able to devote more time to a blog in the future, but right now it is not at the top of my list. I want to enjoy being silly with my kids, spend time drinking coffee with my friends, taking walks around the neighborhood, being involved in my church and community, and less time in a virtual presence. More real "face time" and less "screen time". I have enjoyed all of the connections I have made via the "virtual world" but life is short, and I just want to live more simply. My girls are out of school the end of June, and my goal is so unplug for the summer. Hoping I will be able to achieve this. Nothing is free that costs my time, and my time has to be spend on things that coincide with what I truly value in life.

There is a great quote by Barbara Bush that I shared last week via twitter but it says "At the end of your life you will never regret not having passed more more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. You will regret time not spend with your husband, a friend, a child, or a parent".  I love this.

There is nothing like the value of faith, family, and friends. At least this is what is right for me, and I do realize that my opinions are my own, and not for everyone. As always thank you for taking time out of your day to read my random ramblings.

What Do You Want To Be When You Grow Up?

Remember this question? When I was a kid I could have given you the answer in 5 seconds flat. The 10 year old version of me would have told you that I wanted to be a teacher and a mom. I am happy to say that I was able to achieve both of these by becoming a teacher at 23, and then a mom at 27. I was so sure of myself. I thought being a teacher would be the perfect career to coincide with being a mom. I had a hard time balancing the two the way I wanted, and became a full time mom after the birth of my second child. So many people make being a working mom look like a cake walk. I sure wish I could have been like that. My oldest has asthma and allergies and was sick so much that it was impossible to be able to miss that many days, and a daycare environment had never been the best setting for her. I never thought I would enjoy being a full time mom, but surprisingly I really have. Of course I miss the social interaction, doing something of my own, and getting a paycheck (other than the hugs and kisses I know receive as pay).

Fast forward to the birth of my third child. Seems like yesterday he was born, and now he was just 10 months yesterday. In a way it is like having a first child again because both of my older ones are now in school all day. It is wonderful having this time with my "little man" as I like to call him. My oldest and I were just talking the other day about what she would like to be when she grows up. She has so many ideas, and I love to hear her dreams. She then turned the question around on me, and I found myself without a quick answer. I told her that I wanted to be a mom, and she said " you are silly...but what about when us kids are grown?". The crazy thing is that I know this day will come long before I am ready.

My husband turns 36 in a few weeks, and I always love to joke after his birthday that I am his much younger wife. In reality I am only 2 1/2 months younger. I remember the year we turned 30. It was a bit overwhelming. We have been together since we were 19. I am so fortunate to have spent my 20's and now my 30's with this wonderful man. Of course it hasn't always been easy, but whose life has. Even when you look from the outside of someone's life and think it's easy you just never know what they keep hidden. Anyway we are both finding that we are enjoying the 30's even more than the 20's. My oldest pointed out the other day that we will be 36 which is closer to 40 than 30. Glad she is getting a good education. 

I remember when my parents turned 40 and we had a big "over the hill" party for them. That was almost 24 years ago. I do not fear growing old. My faith assures me of my fate which is a comfort. I do seek God's will in my life, but sometimes I am not so sure of all of the answers. Some days I think I would love to return to the classroom. The jobs are not as prevalent as they were when I left the field. Some days I think I would just like to start taking classes so that I am ready for a new career when my son enters school. I guess I do not need to have all of the answers now. Maybe someday I will find the answer to what I want to be when I am grown up.

When did you know what you wanted to do with your life or are you still struggling to find the answers?

My very first review and it happens to be one of our absolute favorites, Happy Family Organic Superfoods!

     I have been using the Happy Baby Organic Baby Food products since my son was able to start solids. The first product we had tried was the Happy Bellies Oatmeal Baby Cereal and I have to say that this is my son's favorite cereal. My husband even had to drive out in a snow storm to get this product when we had unexpectedly run out.
   
     I was delighted when through engaging with the Happy Family Organic Superfoods company via their twitter page I was given the opportunity to review a few of their products.
*In exchange for my review I received the following products:

Happiest Baby Package (6months-18m)

1 Take Ones

1 Bellies BOGO

Free Trial coupons:

1 Munchies (canister & rice cakes)

1 Puff

1 Yogis

2 Happy Baby Pouches (your choice of Stage 1,2,3, Tot & Tot Plus)

*The opinions expressed in this review are my own.

     So as I mentioned above we had already been fans of the Happy Bellies cereals. My son loves the taste, and I love that they offer the benefits of both pre and pro-biotics for immune support and choline for brain development. RJ is my third baby so this time I am even more aware of all of the scary GMO's in so many products, and love that Happy Family Superfoods are all USDA organic certified, which gives me peace of mind.

     My son loves the happy munchies and yogis. They are a great snack while at home or when we are out. This was our first time trying the Happy Munchies carrot rice cakes (as seen in picture above). These are made from whole grain brown rice, are lightly sweetened with vegetable &fruit juices, and have no artificial flavors, colors, or preservatives. They taste great (yes I even tried one before giving them to him).  The Happy Yogis have been a favorite snack and I love that they are even gluten free as well as containing probiotics to promote digestive health. They are made from organic fruit and yogurt.

     We love the Happy Baby Pouches as well because they come in a wide variety of flavors and stages, and are the perfect on the go snack/meal for the older baby/toddler as well.

     I trust Happy Family Organic Food products for my family, and would encourage you to try them as well.  The prices are very reasonable for the organic food market, and you know that you are feeding your child something good for them that actually tastes good.

     I love that Happy Family Organic Superfoods products are made by REAL moms. Connect with Happy Family Ogranic Superfoods Facebook page or via twitter @happysuperfoods for coupons, product updates, or just to say hello. Great company with great PR.

Social media overload and does it really make us more social?

This post has been one that I have wanted to write for quite some time, and today I am finally sitting down to do so. We live in a very digital age. In some ways, this is a good thing I admit. In other ways I do question how much better it makes our quality of life overall.

A few weeks ago I was at the mall, and I was doing one of my favorite things other than shopping. I was people watching while I sat on the bench feeding my son. I couldn't help but to notice how many people walked by staring into the abyss of their smart phones. These people weren't just teenagers, but encompassed all age ranges, races, and socioeconomic backgrounds. I wondered how many were working. I do understand that there are certain professions that require more "connectivity" if that is even a word.

We went to the diner the other night for character night. This is always one of our family's favorite nights because kids also eat free. I looked around at all the families, and saw that many again were typing away on those phones.

The worse though was the other day in the school parking lot when I saw a parent steering her mini van with her knees while typing away on her phone. What was so important to put the safety of no only her children but of all the parents/children in the parking lot at risk?

I am writing because this is something that I have struggled with in the past. I didn't have a smart phone until 2012. I didn't really need one sooner because I have not been a working mom for quite some years. I do understand that being a mom is tough no matter working, staying at home, working from home, and as a side note I know we all need to support one another (future blog post). However, I chose to leave my career to be home with my children. This is a decision that has worked well for my family, and is not forever but as long as finances allow.

Moms today no matter working situations have to be multitaskers. There are so many things that require our attention. It is hard when our children are infants, but I find that mine still need a lot of attention regardless of age due to homework, sports/activities, etc and this is one of the things I love most. Being needed by my children, but I know the ultimate goal someday is for them to not need me as much. They are 8, 5, and 9 months though now so they really need me A LOT.

Anyway, when I got my smart phone I downloaded all of my favorite apps, including social media ones. I thought it would be neat to be able to use my time at drop off/pickup/etc keeping up with these things and being more social (insert laugh). I laugh because I wonder does social media make us more social? Instead of getting out and conversing with the other moms and dads, I spent every last minute possible reading Facebook statuses of my friends or entering a few contests via twitter. It seemed okay. Who was it hurting?

My son was born in May 2013. I wanted to keep up with the social media, especially with Twitter because it has been so helpful to our family to be able to "win" items that we needed. It was worth my time I thought. I continued to do this during naptimes/feedings/when the kids were in bed.
I felt stressed all the time/like I never had any downtime. I thought I was more "social" because I was commenting on my friend's Facebook status updates and I was tweeting with people.

When 2014 came around I started to question all the multitasking I was doing and how stressed I was feeling. I was trying to keep up with my contesting while being a  mom of three, being involved in the school, keeping up with the house, volunteering at church, etc. I thought there was really no "me" time. I had been feeling for months that I needed to find that perfect balance in my life. I cannot imagine how hard this must be if you have a paid job on top of everything else.

I challenged myself to take a week away form social media. At first it was really hard, but after the next few days, it really wasn't anymore. I also found that by not multitasking all the time, I enjoyed each minute more. I enjoyed all the things that at times had felt like burdens everyday. My house has been cleaner. My kids are happier, and the reason is that I have been happier. I have gotten everything done each day, have planned more playdates, have read more books, and have completed tasks I didn't think I had time for in the past. A life of balance is something I think we all seek.

I value technology, but think it needs it's place. I was just talking with a friend the other day who was mentioning having a problem with her kids/hubby all being on their devices during dinner and that she has to turn off the wi-fi to call family meetings. I do not want to end up like this. I do not want to set this example to my children.

All of those looking for me on twitter, I am okay. Again, just trying to find that balance. How do you find balance in your life? Do you think technology has changed the way we parent our children today? Curious to hear thoughts, and again please keep in mind that everything above is my opinion and in no way a judgement of anyone else who does not make the same choices.

Coming to peace with worry.

I admit it, I am a worrier by nature. I have been this way ever since I can remember. When I was a kid it was about things that seemed so big to me, that I realize now weren't really that big of issues. Today I worry about my husband, my kids, a sick friend, you name it. Usually during the day when I am busy I can push the problems/issues I worry about to the back of my head, but they usually hit me right around the time my head hits the pillow at night and the house is quiet. Who doesn't worry?

I know that when problems arise my immediate response needs to be prayer over worry. Prayer is a very powerful resource. Right now my husband is in a very difficult situation with his career, and I keep praying for an answer. I pray as much as I can about it, and then I ask "God are you hearing me ?" . It's like I expect an immediate result. I know that this is where faith comes in. It can be so difficult to wait.

Sometimes God's answers are not the answers we want or are not as quickly as we expect. I do know that He works everything together for good, even though we may never see the bigger picture. (Romans 8:28)  When my husband first graduated from college he started interviewing in New York City. He had interviewed for several jobs including one he really wanted. He didn't hear back from the one he wanted until he had started another position. He was very disappointed. A few months later 911 happened, and 658 employees from that company (Cantor Fitzgerald) perished in the World Trade Center attacks. This is where my husband would have been on that day, and life as I know it would be completely different. God had a plan. We didn't see it until then. No matter how many years pass, my heart still aches for all the families in our area/and across the country whose lives were forever changed that day.

Where you are today is exactly where you are supposed to be. Everything happens for a reason. Not getting a job, being late for an appointment....it is all part of a better plan. There is great peace in this, and knowing this I helps me with my daily worry and with my faith.

How do you come to peace with the things you worry about?